Bush flightsuit
Drill Sergeant
shows the proper respect America's Military deserves
If you work hard, you'll get ahead as a
Drill Sergeant

Private Colbert rocks out to the B52's under close supervision of a drill sergeantEpisode #567, Episode #568

A drill sergeant is a person who turns other people into soldiers.

Who Can Become A Drill Sergeant?Edit

Only those who wish to pass on the ancient tradition of protecting America and The Baby Jesus from terrorists, liberals (Satan's Minions), and being raped by bears should be a Drill Sergeant in the U.S. Army. In order to qualify as a Drill Sergeant, you must smoke alot, have ascertained a minimum rank of Staff Sergeant, enjoy yelling at young whippersnappers, and like to explain how much better your Grandmother is at doing things than the recruits.

What Education Do Drill Sergeants Need?Edit

Drill Sergeants attend a specialized school known as the Army Drill Sergeant School prior to their assignment as a drill sergeant. It is there where they learn how to yell alot, order fat kids to do pushups, and train new soldiers how to protect America and The Baby Jesus. In order to qualify for the DS School, they first must achieve the minimum rank required and have completed Basic Non Commisioned Officer's Course. This is due to the requirement that Baby Jesus Guardians can not be n00bs.

What Do Drill Sergeants Do?Edit

♦Yell ♦Make Soldiers Run In Circles ♦Train Soldiers how to be halfway organized ♦Yell Some More ♦Train Soldiers how to fire and utilize the M-16 Anti-Pedobear Weapon. ♦Yell a Little More ♦Wake Soldiers Up at Ridiculous Hours to go March in Circles ♦Avoid or Dodge Deployments to Satanland (Iraq)

What Special Equipment Do Drill Sergeants Need?Edit

Drill Sergeants have a magical helmet that protects them from nay sort of discplinary action brought about by satan or the pedobear to ruin a Drill Sergeant's good name. This is commonly reffered to as a "Campaign Hat"

Where Do Drill Sergeants Work?Edit

This is a trick question, as Drill Sergeants Don't work. They are tasked with making dumb privates do work for their amusement.

How Much Money Do Drill Sergeants Make?Edit

Drill Sergeants will make around 55,000 dollars per year, paid in childrens tears.

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