His tweed jacket was on loan to
Just a bunch of empirical data showing that Federal Investigations of Democrats outnumber Republicans by nearly 5 to 1.
Dr. Donald Shields
is a tweed-wearing, elbow padded clown from the University of Missouri, St. Louis.
Dr. Shields used
mathematics to create facts to claim that democrats were investigated more than Americans.
From this, Dr. Shields was able to
prove to other factonistas that the Bush Administration was politicizing the Justice Department.
Dr. Colbert was able to show how more investigations of democrats means democrats are more corrupt than Americans.
Dr. Colbert informed the democrats that all of these investigations would stop when they change their political affiliation, which, as everyone knows, is like being gay.
Once they choose to be
Republican (instead of democrat and gay) nixo-facto they wouldn't be so corrupt.
And apparently, Dr. Shields doesn't know how the
Justice Department works. Dr. Colbert had to explain that federal prosecutors serve at the pleasure of the president (not some topless chick with a sword and scale).
Dr. Colbert promised that if he was made a prosecutor, he would be a one-man pleaseure dome to
The Greatest President Ever.
Then, Dr. Shields played
The Hitler Card.