Do Not Spam List

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

The Do Not Spam List was an American creation to prevent perverts from sending their filthy, filthy e-mails to God-fearing Christian Americans.

Why Sign Up?Edit

  • Because participating in the sending and receiving of porn helps the terrorists.
  • Because the company that will compile and administer the list, ChoicePoint is a bunch of nice people, who love America.
  • Because everyone of your neighbors is doing it too.
  • Because Hillary Clinton isn't going to sign up and neither is Ned Lamont.
  • Because for every person who signs up for the Do Not Spam List a donation is made to the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation
  • Because you have nothing to hide.
  • Because your Pastor/Reverend/Pope says you should
  • Because Ronald Reagan's Ghost said so.
"Sign up for the Do Not Spam List, otherwise the terrorists win!"
~ Ronald Reagan's Ghost
  • See?

What Will The List Do For Me?Edit

The Do Not Spam List will prevent liberal e-mails from infecting your computer with their agenda. For informational purposes only, will provide a sampling of the kinds of e-mails you might receive from the common liberal.

  1. Look At My Webcam
  2. Put 3 Inches On Your Penis
  3. I'm A Nigerian Prince, etc.
  4. Can I Talk To You About $cientology?

How Can I Sign Up?Edit

If you're not a pervert yourself, just type in two of these "-" followed by four of these "~" (with no spaces, it should look like this: --~~~~) and your name, address, Social Security Number and current blood pressure will be automatically sent to ChoicePoint's office in Bangladesh over a secure internets tube.

God Bless America!

Sign Up Below To Declare That You Are Not A PervertEdit

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