If you are from the Marines looking for "Priority 1 Urgent" Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles,
please go shopping at the National Guard Store.


Governors! Are you finding your state the sudden victim of weather-related disasters?

Don't wait for all your calligraphic pens and stationary to be destroyed in an unprecedented natural disaster.

Register at today and be the only state fully prepared when those thoroughly unpredictable weather changes occur!

Remember: "If you don't request it, you won't get it!"


Just follow these easy steps:

The Proper Way To Request AidEdit

The State of (your destroyed state)
urgently requests
the attendance
your aid and equipment
(disaster area)
Business Casual

Reply CardEdit

[  ] Yes, the Federal Government will be attending. We will be bringing (circle one):

Supply trucks
The President for a photo-op

[  ] No, we regretfully cannot attend as our equipment has a prior engagement in the Middle East.

The Wrong Way To Request AidEdit

RequestWrongWay KatrinaRooftop
Wrong way #1 Wrong way #2


Governors who register with can choose from our fully stocked catalogue.

We have items for every stage of relief. From flashlights for when the power first gets shut off all the way up to 30-day supplies of doxycycline for your family's malaria needs!

Level 1 ItemsEdit

Purchase a specified number of Level 1 items and you may qualify for items in "Level 2".

Level 2 ItemsEdit

Once you have ordered sufficient numbers of "Level 1" items you may now register for the "Level 2" items below.

Remember, "If you don't request it, you won't get it!"™

Level 3 ItemsEdit

And for our valued "Ranger level" customers only, please choose from these items to be placed on your registry!

To purchase an item on another state's registry, please log in. is the internets tube where Governors may register to have disaster aid purchased for them by sympathetic multinationals!

has its own tube of the internets.

Don't clog it!!!
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you,

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