Dennis Kozlowski
is a Great American and deserves your adoration!
America loves you, Dennis Kozlowski

Dennis Kozlowski is a great American entrepreneur and former CEO of a toy company.

He became very rich because America loves toys and Dennis was an awesome deal-maker!

Because Dennis was able to make alot of money he shared it with all the important people in his life, including his:

  • lovely, lovely wife, whats-her-name (she left him after he was sent to prison),
  • his beloved company,
  • and all his precious, precious employees, who he dotes on as if they were his very own

How Much Money Did Dennis MakeEdit

Dennis was known for his generosity. Until liberals changed the rules in the middle of the game, which forced him to take the fall for other people who were the ones guilty of breaking the law, Dennis could be seen giving away money in increments of $100 to every person he met.

Dennis in JailEdit

In 2005, liberals held a show trial which resulted in Dennis going to jail. Dennis washes dishes and works in the library to pass the time.

Dennis also works on a chess set from rocks he's found in the yard.

Dennis Talks to 60 MinutesEdit

Dennis was approached by Morley Safer for an interview. They were good friends in college, and Morley was concerned that Dennis' side of the story had been buried by the liberal media.

Morley insisted that the interview not include anyone else; he felt it wasn't fair to have interferance from other parties. He didn't want to treat great Americans, like Dennis, disrespectfully, like how Patrick Leahy is treating Alberto Gonzales.

Morley said it was his journalistic background which helped him convince his producers the best way to handle as sensitive interview as this one.

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