ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Dead bear
David Xanatos
is a member of the Bear Hunters of America.
Be Scared, Bears.
"I'm a friend of the corporations, but please get a haircut..."
~ Ronald Reagan's Ghost

The American economy at its almost finest.

David Xanatos (born 1955 in Bar Harbor, Maine) is the living embodiment of the American Dream. The son of a poor fisherman, young Xanatos worked his ass off to become a billionare over night, and thus earns the right to spit on poor people. He's a family man. He married a good woman named Fox, and is the proud father of a beautiful young American named Alexander.

A True HeroEdit

After Xanatos threw off the shackles of poverty by wisely investing the $20,000 he received from selling an ancient coin, Xanatos brought jobs to New York City by building the Eyrie Building, attacking the New York intellectuals at their home base and who, with all of their so-called book smarts, had not been able to cure unemployment in their own backyard. As a crowning achievement of his victory over the advocates of books, Xanatos liberated Castle Wyvern from Scotland, where the people there had allowed it to decay into ruin, and stuck it on top of his corporate headquarters.

In 1994, Xanatos was framed by Demona for receiving stolen property, and sentenced to six months in prison by an activist judge. Thankfully, he got out and has continued the fight to protect New York City from Demona and her gargoyle minions and bear allies.

He has been hounded by liberal police detective, Elisa Maza who makes up stories about genetic engineering, Illuminati connections, and claims that he and Demona were allies. No, Xanatos was just trying to lull her into a false sense of security, so he could stop her, and eventually take out the Colbear itself.

While many mudslingers like to claim that he is now harboring seven of these Satanic creatures, they are wrong. He's just keeping his enemies closer.

Xanatos gets a Tip of the Hat for being a true American, but a Wag of the Finger for not getting a hair cut.

Xanatos TriviaEdit

You are now a Halliburton Sub-contractor! Just by visiting this site,
you have earned a no-bid contract from The Pentagon Halliburton.
If you "refer a friend", you could win your very own Mideast OIL WELL!

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