Wikia

Wikiality

David Nelson Jones

12,423pages on
this wiki
Talk0
RRGhost1
"This kid thinks of me as a role model.
So don't tell him I named names to Joe McCarthy."

~ Ronald Reagan's Ghost



U R Here
Stephen from Knox
David Nelson Jones
Has been featured on "The Colbert Report"
as a part of the "Better Know A Challenger" segment.


David

He's only 25, but he's losing his hair like a real politician.

David Nelson Jones was the 25 86/87ths year-old Republican challenger for the seat of Representative of California's 30th District, The Fightin' 30th, smack dab in the middle of that godless den of sin and smut known as Los Angeles' west side.

Stephen sat down with The Fightin' Nelson Jones when the current Representative, 16-term Congressman Henry Waxman, was too cowardly to help Stephen Better Know A District. David had the balls to skip school for the interview.

Why He RanEdit

David wanted to be a congressman because he is a US citizen and almost 26 years old.

Unelectable?Edit

Nelson Jones is honest. Perhaps too honest. He openly admits to having too much body hair. That kind of candor probably cost him the election.

In Hollywood, if you want to be a congressman, you better have laser hair removal. Just look at Henry Waxman's head if you want proof.

His PlatformEdit

  • Supports the Iraq War.
    • Won't join the Army because running for Congress is just as important as actually fighting in a war that you support.
  • Urges others to support the Iraq War by:
    • Running for Congress
    • Writing letters in support of troops.

2006 Campaign SlogansEdit

"I'm a citizen and I'm 25."
"They asked me to run, my wife says it's okay."
"Congratulations, Henry Waxman."

David Nelson Jones' GOP Role Models Who Also Happen To Be Actors Or Persons Played By ActorsEdit

FactoidsEdit

See AlsoEdit

Around Wikia's network

Random Wiki