David France
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
David France
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.

Stephen's brain was beeping overtime.

David France was Stephen's guest on the June 26, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.

Mr. France says in his article The Science of Gaydar there are certain characteristics and traits common to gay people which can help people identify them.

When France appeared as a guest on The Colbert Report, Stephen could tell he was a gay by the shape of his jaw.[1] And by the fact that his last name is France. Everyone else could tell by his speaking voice.

How To Tell With Absolute Certitude If You Are GayEdit

On a man, if the index finger is shorter than the ring finger you are straight. Otherwise you're a homosexual. End of story.

On a woman, if the index finger is shorter than the ring finger you are a lesbian. Otherwise you're a breeder. End of story.

If the hair on the crown of your head is in a counter-clockwise whorl, you are gay.


If you like to have sex with a person of the same gender, you are probably gay.

France claims that sexuality is probably predetermined in the womb, although we know that to be false since homosexuality is a choice. He blames biology and genetics. All of this is good news, since there may be a pre-natal cure for gay pastors.


Dr. Colbert has the hands of a real man

hands can be gay

hair can also be gay

counter-clockwise hair swirls are gay

relationships are suggestive

when a person chooses to be gay, hands and hair conform to the correlation

gays like to say "pre-natal"

not all the science is in

gay people can't answer questions

the study of homos is only 14 years old (perv)

no federal funding for this kind of research

If there is a truly a "gay gene", then there may be a cure

left-handedness and blue eyes are sins too


  1. Dr. Colbert's extensive background in phrenology and eugenics having prepared him to make such determination.

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