The bionic monkey, yet another reason to hate Darwinism.

A dangerous disease that affects the cerebral membrane, causing a God-fearing republican to change to an inhuman, baby-killing liberal (in medical terms). The most vulnerable to this disease are the children in the public school system. Early symptoms include:

  • asking questions about where babies come from
  • eating more than once a day
  • hairy knuckles
  • going to sleep before The Colbert Report airs

In the event of these symptoms, start homeschooling your children from the outside of a safe-bubble. Repeat into adulthood as necessary.

Darwinism is a term for evolution much in the same way Gallileoism is a term for astronomy.

is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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