Daniel Pinchbeck

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"Daniel Pinchbeck"
is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.

Freakin' hippie! Cut your hair and get a job!

Daniel Pinchbeck is believed to be the first genuine hippie to be nailed on The Colbert Report, December 14, 2006. There was no mushroom strong enough to protect this hippie from Stephen.

Some have called him the new Timothy Leary, but Pinchbeck rejects that comparison, probably because Leary is dead.

Drugs TakenEdit

  • Flintstones Multivitamins
  • Peyote
  • The Pot
  • Ayahuasca (Yage)
  • Ibuprofen
  • iboga
  • acid
  • mushrooms
  • dmt
  • robitussin

Things Daniel Smells LikeEdit

Books Daniel Has Hallucinated Into BeingEdit

  • 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl
  • Dude, Have You Ever Really Looked At Your Hands?
  • Breaking Open the Head
  • Hfner3oiubv: LOL
  • Flatulophilia and the Broadening of the Humman Inner Buddah

Communing with Daniel PinchbeckEdit

It is possible to commune with Daniel Pinchbeck. However, this process is only recommended for those who are strong with the force of truthiness, such as our Great Leader, Stephen Colbert. For those who use their brains, rather than their guts, communing with Daniel Pinchbeck could produce delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, and even schizophrenia. You have been warned.

Click here to commune with Daniel Pinchbeck.

Why he is a threat to all non-MayansEdit

  • He is the reincarnation of Quetzalcoatl, feathered bird-serpent God that represents the dichotomy of our nature
  • We are NOT dichotomous, dichomites are funded by TERRORISTS.
  • Birds cannot be serpents. It simply does not make sense.
  • Claims that Quetzalcoatl thinks he is Jesus. Jesus only lived once, mister bird man.
  • The Mayans died a long time ago. Just watch APOCALYPTO. They're dead.
  • No one reincarnates unless they are Semitic or Christian.
  • Is plotting the end of the world with Chris Angels and Reptilian Illuminaty.
  • 2012 is the year we all die. Nothing can save us. Don't even think about trying to live.
  • Mayans are evil, and when/if they come back, they will kill us all.
  • The world isn't full of hippie dippie meaning crap, so don't listen to hippies. God will tell you who he is, just be patient.

Colbert didn't tell the whole truth. ALL Mayan lovers are COMMIE HIPPIES.

See AlsoEdit

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