Daniel Gilbert
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

Here's what would make me happy: Watching Stephen kick your ass.

Odd sound-making sourpuss Daniel Gilbert was Stephen's guest on the June 27, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.

Gilbert really brought the room down with a combination of bizarre noises and constant misguided complaints that Stephen was "wrong". Despite this, Stephen was, as usual, a perfect gentleman.

Gilbert's thesis is that people are not good at predicting what will make them happy, because the human brain is bad at looking into its own future and knowing what will be good or bad. However, earlier in The Report Stephen had specifically mentioned that an iPhone woud make him happy.

Gilbert then propounded the theory that "cash" is the bzzzt! wrong answer, despite the fact that jumping into his big vat of coins makes Stephen happy. Anyway, this is not a game show, sir. So please cut out the weird sounds.

So what does make us happy? Kids? Bzzzt! Again the wrong answer and again with the tourettes-syndrome-like noises. Kids actually have a negative effect on happiness. People with kids are less happy than people without kids. The more kids they have, the less happy they are, because kids are a pain in the ass more often than the times they make you happy.

Things That Make People HappyEdit


  • Happiness goes up and down like blood pressure.


Buying Gilbert's book, Stumbling on Happiness, will make Gilbert happy.

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