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Daily Poll/Archive/August 2007

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August 28, 2007 - Not Gay Day

Appropriate Points, Airport Arrests gay, homosexual, Mitt Romney

We are not gay! What? Oh. GOP Senator Larry Craig did not have sex with that man! Nor with any other men in any other bathroom. It's the super-powerful liberal Democrats decidering to:
 
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The poll was created at 15:39 on August 29, 2007, and so far 100 people voted.

August 27, 2007 - Double 7 Lucky Monday

Legal points, Hating frenzy, John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales, Michael Chertoff

Noooooo! The greatest Attorney General, even superer than John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales resigns (not quits, resigns). Fortunately, the Greatest President Ever has an exit plan:
 
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The poll was created at 16:12 on August 27, 2007, and so far 20 people voted.

NATO terrorist tube war

Cyberwar points, War on Terror, Cyber Terrorist Panic, tubes, The Internets

NATO is claiming that the Estonia cyberwar attack via the Internets is terrorism. NATO is really trying to:
 
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The poll was created at 17:29 on August 27, 2007, and so far 18 people voted.

August 20, 2007

Shouting points, Rush Limbaugh, Oxycontin

Pain pill use almost doubled from 1997, showing:
 
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The poll was created at 21:52 on August 20, 2007, and so far 31 people voted.

August 19, 2007

Rewriting Points, Golden Iraq PSP. Input provided by General WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

With Karl Rove & Tony Snow soon gone, who can write General David Petraeus' September Assessment Of Iraq? The liberals think the General should. Petraeus's proper roll is to:
 
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The poll was created at 03:10 on August 20, 2007, and so far 19 people voted.

August 18, 2007

Voting points, Wikipedia democracy, The O'Reilly DailyKos, Poor Tony, Diebold

Now Tony Snow is resigning for "financial reasons". America-bashing liberals have, of course, suggested it's so he can pay child support to Jenna Bush. Can't we all just:
 
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The poll was created at 18:38 on August 18, 2007, and so far 17 people voted.

August 17, 2007 morning sickness

Preggy points, Lick Me, Henry Hager, Jenna Bush provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

God bless America. After a week of mourning and battery licking to forget it, Forbes reports the Greatest Presidential Daughter Ever is engaged. They met:
 
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The poll was created at 15:52 on August 17, 2007, and so far 80 people voted.

August 15, 2007

Growling Points, bears, Nancy Grace, Iran

Oldest polar bear ever and it eats veggie dogs. This proves:
 
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The poll was created at 03:21 on August 16, 2007, and so far 23 people voted.

August 14, 2007

Mourning after points

Just a day after Rove announced his resignation, the world is falling apart - we discover Dennis Hastert will be retiring. The real reason, of course, is:
 
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The poll was created at 05:29 on August 15, 2007, and so far 21 people voted.

August 13, 2007

Mourning points, History, Talk:Karl_Rove

Karl Rove resigned today. The greatest president gave him his well deserved hug. Since we can't all hug him, we should:
 
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The poll was created at 22:35 on August 13, 2007, and so far 20 people voted.

August 12, 2007

Poll Talking Points, Church guns, God's State, unicorns, Pledge Allegiance with the assistance of Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

Atheists are the next terrorists. In Texas, they are trying to stop a minute of school prayer. In Missouri, they are actually using guns to shoot church goers. President Bush-Cheney need to immediately:
 
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The poll was created at 01:12 on August 13, 2007, and so far 20 people voted.

August 11, 2007

Praise Xenu (and the The Lake Effect and WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer), no talking points to read tonight. If you're bored, you can read Mitt Romney.

Republican Iowa Poll winner & war supporter Mitt Romney was not a troop, nor are any of his 5 sons troops. Praise?
 
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The poll was created at 06:53 on August 12, 2007, and so far 17 people voted.

August 10, 2007

Poll Talking Points, Young Republicans, Iowa, inspiration provided by hot, nubile republicans WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer & The Lake Effect

Republicans are fighting hard over a strong poll in Iowa this weekend. Their best strategy would be to:
 
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The poll was created at 23:26 on August 10, 2007, and so far 31 people voted.

August 9, 2007 - cold!

Poll Talking Points, Lyme disease provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

America's stock market showed remarkable strength, only losing 390 points after learning:
 
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The poll was created at 01:50 on August 10, 2007, and so far 15 people voted.

August 8, 2007 - hawt!

Poll Talking Points,hawtest ever, Brooklyn tornado, Virgin delivery to the other Stephen, research assistance provided by analysts The Lake Effect & WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBear

Summer record temperatures yet again, Mormons skinny dipping in Salt Lake, and a tornado in Brooklyn have obviously been caused by:
 
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The poll was created at 23:50 on August 8, 2007, and so far 22 people voted.

August 7, 2007

Poll Talking Points, FBI tube raid - research funding provided in part by the Tube Foundation

US domestic flight delays are the worst in 13 years. This was caused by:
 
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The poll was created at 18:14 on August 7, 2007, and so far 15 people voted.

August 6, 2007

Tube collapse causes poll shutdown.

August 5, 2007 - Bible Daily

Poll Talking Points, Wall Street Bibleprovided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

Sunday newspapers are now allowing bible inserts (New Testatment only, of course). Future innovations for the Lord should include:
 
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The poll was created at 21:54 on August 5, 2007, and so far 19 people voted.

August 1, 2007

Poll Talking Points provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer

Michael Savage, well known for his expertise on everything, revealed his discovery that Democrats were behind Chief Justice John Roberts' seizure. Demoncrats are also behind:
 
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The poll was created at 05:45 on August 2, 2007, and so far 13 people voted.

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