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August 28, 2007 - Not Gay Day
We are not gay! What? Oh. GOP Senator Larry Craig did not have sex with that man! Nor with any other men in any other bathroom. It's the super-powerful liberal Democrats decidering to:
August 27, 2007 - Double 7 Lucky Monday
Noooooo! The greatest Attorney General, even superer than John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales resigns (not quits, resigns). Fortunately, the Greatest President Ever has an exit plan:
NATO terrorist tube war
NATO is claiming that the Estonia cyberwar attack via the Internets is terrorism. NATO is really trying to:
August 20, 2007
Pain pill use almost doubled from 1997, showing:
August 19, 2007
With Karl Rove & Tony Snow soon gone, who can write General David Petraeus' September Assessment Of Iraq? The liberals think the General should. Petraeus's proper roll is to:
August 18, 2007
Now Tony Snow is resigning for "financial reasons". America-bashing liberals have, of course, suggested it's so he can pay child support to Jenna Bush. Can't we all just:
August 17, 2007 morning sickness
God bless America. After a week of mourning and battery licking to forget it, Forbes reports the Greatest Presidential Daughter Ever is engaged. They met:
August 15, 2007
Oldest polar bear ever and it eats veggie dogs. This proves:
August 14, 2007
Just a day after Rove announced his resignation, the world is falling apart - we discover Dennis Hastert will be retiring. The real reason, of course, is:
August 13, 2007
Karl Rove resigned today. The greatest president gave him his well deserved hug. Since we can't all hug him, we should:
August 12, 2007
Atheists are the next terrorists. In Texas, they are trying to stop a minute of school prayer. In Missouri, they are actually using guns to shoot church goers. President Bush-Cheney need to immediately:
August 11, 2007
Republican Iowa Poll winner & war supporter Mitt Romney was not a troop, nor are any of his 5 sons troops. Praise?
August 10, 2007
Republicans are fighting hard over a strong poll in Iowa this weekend. Their best strategy would be to:
August 9, 2007 - cold!
America's stock market showed remarkable strength, only losing 390 points after learning:
August 8, 2007 - hawt!
Summer record temperatures yet again, Mormons skinny dipping in Salt Lake, and a tornado in Brooklyn have obviously been caused by:
August 7, 2007
US domestic flight delays are the worst in 13 years. This was caused by:
August 6, 2007
Tube collapse causes poll shutdown.
August 5, 2007 - Bible Daily
Sunday newspapers are now allowing bible inserts (New Testatment only, of course). Future innovations for the Lord should include:
August 1, 2007
Poll Talking Points provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer
Michael Savage, well known for his expertise on everything, revealed his discovery that Democrats were behind Chief Justice John Roberts' seizure. Demoncrats are also behind: