An updated version of Beta tapes, DVDs or "Dorky Vacuum Dimples" were invented in 1969. DVDs are based primarily on "magnetic radio-active vacuum tube (with cheese!)" technology. When played on a standard Laser Disc player, they emit sound and video waves through the air which find the nearest TV and hijacks it permanently.
It is a common theory that these hijacked TV's wind up in Saudi Arabia. Just a theory, which most experts use to support the common belief that the dark arts are involved, somehow.
In 2007, DVDs were found out to be the number 1 cause of diarrhea related deaths in the world. Unfortunately, DVDs are one of the many brainwashing tools of the liberal media elite. When any DVD is played backwards on a turn-table, a backwards-on-a-turn-table message can be heard. Duh. You were probably expecting some sort of pro-Hillary Clinton crack, weren't you? No cookies there, bro. Or sis. You don't have a webcam, so I can't tell.
Fortunately there have been only 97 DVD players released in the world as only the 97 richest kings can afford them. One of them is in the White House Grand Bathroom. Lucky bastards.