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|Full Network Name||The Blonde Abductee Network|
|Corporate Owner||The Prescott Group|
|Types of Programs||Speculation, titliation|
|Sister Networks||JailCell Surveillance Channel, CopsTV|
|Most Popular Programs||Redneck Nightcourt|
|Most Popular Celebrities|| Shirtless, Toothless Redneck|
Slutty, Braless Redneck
|Slogan||'America's Justice System, On TV!'|
A television network where Americans can watch lady justice stick her sword so far up someone's ass that you'd think it was a boot.