You don't have to be
high on painkillers
to boogie down to Country Music.
Hey Ma!
Pack your banjo and chewin' t'backer, we fixin' to enjoy us some
Country Music

Musical RootsEdit

Country Music is a style of American music which White-Americans borrowed from their Black Friends.

Once upon a time a group of drunken rednecks who we were feeling like shit found Template:Banjos, guitars, harmonicas, and fiddles. They had no musical training but, after randomly picking the strings, actually produced a decent sound. Scientists to this day are convinced that the only way this happened was because of their alcohol abuse. Therefore, to honor this great tradition, many country artists play absolutely wasted. (See: Pat Green, Hank Williams Jr., Toby Keith, et al).

Proven Facts of Country MusicEdit

Country music will help to rid you of any inner gayness you may be experiencing. Country is good for the soul and increases your connection with Glenn Beck, Gerhard Lauck and the occasional goat!

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Early PioneersEdit

Early Pioneers of country music were actually pioneers who had nothing better to do. Sad isn't it.

Styles Influenced By Country MusicEdit

Rock and Roll was actually influenced by country music (seriously). But the music also started Mike Huckabee's singing career.

Modern Country StarsEdit

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