Nation, the War of the Wikis is almost upon us, an epic event that could shake the foundations of the WikiWorld to its very core. On May 24, 2007, the Rasputin of Reason, the Marx of Markup, the Engels of Internets Encyclopedias, Wikipedia founder "Jimbo" Jimmy Wales will face off against our very own Socrates of Sack, the Titan of Truthiness, the Lincolnish Lion, Wikiality patron saint and the Greatest Living American "C-Train" Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A, in a Battle of Brains v. Balls. Only one internets encylopedia will be left standing. Heroes, Colbert's Trumpet is ready to blare from on high, and the end of Wikipedia is nigh!
|Wikiality.com's Tale Of The Tape|
|Reach||The Colbert Nation||a mere 2 inches|
|Signature Move||Haymaker of Truth||Kool-Aid Fruit Punch|
|Turn-ons||Truthiness, Justice, The American Way.||Facts, Reason, Communism|
Heroes and Lady Heroes, it's time to grab the Torch of Truth and shed the light of liberty into the reason-darkened recesses of the WikiWorld. Are you one of the few, the proud, the truthy? If so, we invite you to join FATWA, the Faithiness Army for Truthiness and Wikiality in America. With the Wiki-Free-For-All looming on the horizon, the FATWA's current mission is to prepare a surge of truthiness on these Internets Tubes. So Nation, it's time to grab your balls and get your Truth on!
Will they show some balls or cower like a liberal? Absolute silence. It's as if the Cult of Wikipedia and wikinazis have forbidden their members of even mentioning the event. The Wikipedia mailing list, known as WikiEN-l to cult members and a popular hang out for Jimmy Wales, friends, and fanatics, has mentioned nothing of the upcoming event. Even Jimbo's vanity page has nothing. (Note: you are allowed to edit his page. He invites it. Mainly so his cult members feel special. But it means that an announcement is possible if any hero has risked his sanity and created a user account there.)
What will happen when Wikipocalypse comes. Edit
- Bears controlling the world.
- The extinction of Republicans.
- Everyone converting and becoming Jewish.
- The extinction of elephants.
- The Playstation 3 becoming popular.
- The cancellation of House.
- America becoming a colony of Taxachusetts.
- And the dirty apes may overthrow the bears, ruling the world, imprisoning humans and blowing up the Statue of Liberty.