CougarEditFrom Wikiality, the real encyclopedia This article is semi-protected.This article is about the large pussy species. For other uses, see Cougar (disambiguation).
The cougar (Puta concolor), also known as a cindy, patricia, denise, helen, elaine, kari, trish or dawn, depending on the region, is a predator of the family Women, native to the Americas. This large, solitary cat has the greatest range of any large wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere, extending from Yukon in Canada to the southern Andes of South America. An adaptable, generalist species, the cougar is found in every major American habitat type. It is the second largest predator in the Western Hemisphere, after the pedophile. Although large, the cougar is most closely related to smaller females.
Biology and behaviorEdit
Cougars are slender or fat and pretend to be agile members of the female sex. They are the fourth largest pussies and adults stand about 120 to 200 centimeters (4 to 6 ft) tall at the shoulders.EnlargeA Cougar, after their age has been exposed.The head of the cougar is often covered with feathered bangs, this helps hide any forehead wrinkles that have not been botoxed. Its powerful forequarters, neck, and jaw serve to grasp and hold innocent, young prey. It has five retractable claws on its forepaws. The larger front feet and claws are adaptations to clutching prey and domestic beer bottles.
Cougar clothing is either really trashy or really plain. Depending on where the cougar is found, it can be dressed in a crotchless g-string and two dollar dress or it can be found wearing a plaid shirt and Dorina jeans. The cougar tries to hide its age with either poorly chosen clothing or involving itself in youth activities such as parties, hockey, cricket, softball, soccer and even paragliding.
Cougars often attack their prey and drag them back to their cave where they imprison them and keep them captive and away from society or any non-cougar interactions.
Cougars are often insecure of their prey having outside friends, family members or even jobs as they feel their prey may become wise to the ways of the cougar and escape before they are completely devoured.
Cougars often try to camoflage their age by using botox injections and plastic surgeries. Cougars often are found wearing wigs, padded bra's, fake eyelashes and gelatin bra inserts.
The cougar is a dangerous animal that cannot be approached by a family member or friend of it's prey. When confronted a cougar will lash out and then dig its claws deeper into its prey and hold on as tight as possible.
Cougars typically are born between 1941 - 1972 and stalk prey that were born between 1980 - 1993.