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Baby Jesus
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence!

The Corvette is God's gift to men wanting to escape for the everyday grind known as life.

Description Edit

The original Corvette designed after the Mako Shark, in an attempt to keep bears away from unsuspecting motorists on the rural roads of Ohio. There have been six editions of the Corvette numbered C1-C6. It is commonly mistaken by liberals that the "C" stands for "Corvette", however on five of the models, the "C" actually stands for Colbert.

History Edit


Mr.T delivers a eulegy at the funeral of the man who attempted to kill him.

1953- First Corvette produced in Bowling Green, Kentucky

1956- Mr.T's life is saved as an assassin's bullet is deflected by the amazingness of his Corvette

1958- Jesus wins the first Daytona 500 in a Corvette. The car was white, carried the number 7, and was sponsored by Hooters.

1961- 5 Corvettes are elected to the North Carolina legislature, adding 50 IQ points and 1000 horsepower

1969- First Corvette lands on the moon, a mere five hours after Neil Armstrong and lightyears before the first Communist

1974- A C2 (or Colbert edition 2) Corvette overthrows the dictator of Kazakhstan. It remained in power until 2005, when it ceeds power to and upstart journalist named Borat


A replica of the Corvette that overthrew a Communist regime in Kazakstan in 1974

1989- The first vehicle to drive through the newly destroyed Berlin Wall is a C3 Corvette driven by Ronald Reagan

1996- The Grand Sport Corvette is introduced. This is believed to be the only edition not to be named after Colbert, but this is merely a lie produced by liberal media. The full name of this edition is actually the "Transporter For the Grand Sport of Bear Hunting as endorsed by Republicans", but the name was shortened so it could fit on the price tags.

2003- The 50th Anniversary of the Corvette is marked by the production of a red 50th Anniversary Corvette. The color red was chosen to mock the Communists and Democrats

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