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Even in a tradition as cornholy as Cornholism, there are few genuine cornholers. Everyone's gut will tell them that Jesus is the primordial cornholer, but not everyone has a manly enough gut to admit that Robert Cornhole is the essential cornholer, much less that Joseph Smith was the most recent cornholer. Glenn Beck was one cornholist with the manguts and cornloins to admit that these men were genuine cornholers.

Cornholists on the Final CornholerEdit


This is an artist's vision of the climactic cornholer. Artists are so gay and effeminate that they can't see that the last cornholer will really be a man.

Cornholists engaged in awaiting the hour of the coming of cornholistry, the hour when the nations of the world will submit to the cornholed American prince of the free manworld, are at present unsure who the climactic cornholer will be. Not a few cornholists believe it will be Stephen Colbert, but others think it could be Glenn Beck. The Center for Advanced Cornhole Studies in Atlanta, Georgia has yet to comment on who their collective gut has determined to be the next cornholer. But after penetration into the tradition of cornholism, amorous cornholists seem to have ruled out Mitt Romney and Sean Hannity.

The Pope as Cornholer?Edit

Fringe cornholists, most of them intellectuals in gay liberal universities who are promoting a gay agenda, have mentioned the possibility that the Pope could be a cornholer. Any man who calls himself a cornholist knows that while the papal men are often expert cornholists, they are impotent when it comes to penetrating the truths of fellow cornholists. Nay, rather than nominate full grown, beautiful, manly men who are engaged in the enterprise of truth as the ones to be cornholed, the papal men designate youthful men and oftentimes boys to be cornholed. Cornholistry, far from being the province of cornholy children, is a nation which, when it comes, falls to the fair-haired and cornloined cornholists to be the cornholed, if not also the cornholer.

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