Cookie Monster, once
America's foremost tireless the greatest made up creature that actually exists/Cookie Evangelist, he had some crazy times in the '70s and the '80s. He was (in his own words) "the Robert Downey Jr. of cookies" Episode #413. With addiction troubling him for most of his life, (not that our glorious Stephen has this problem he can end his cookie habbit any time he wants to). Mr. Monster subsequently never got around to driving or operating heavy machinery. He now lives on Sesame Street and his reality tv co-star Elmo has at least once given him a ride to The Colbert Report studios with an imagination-powered car (the dirty hairy hippie).
He appeared on The Colbert Report by way of the door behind Dr. Stephen T. Colbert's portrait above the fireplace. He also attempted to eat Dr. Colbert's Peabody Award, and might have succeeded. An intern at PBS has been ordered to "attend to Cookie Monster when he uses the washroom" to investigate. This job was brought to her by the letters "B" and "M".
The sofa of The Colbert Report green room was ruined by Mr. Monster with fig newtons after he was denied milk to accompany his outrageous demands. Triplestuff Oreos? That's just insane. TCR interns are still pursuing a means of removing the stains.