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Consultant

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HardWorkersFaded
If you work hard, you'll get ahead as a
Consultant


A consultant is a person who does not know what the hell he is doing, but is allowed to charge a fortune because no one else knows what he is doing, either, and that makes him seem important.


Who Can Become A Consultant?Edit

The primary qualification for becoming a consultant is the ability to say "Paradigm Shift" in every other sentence while maintaining a straight face. You must be able to string together a 64 word or more sentance with no monosyllabic words or repeats. It's not important what you say, only that you say it with attitude and an expression on your face indicating either disdain or dispepsia. This is for the education of the people you are talking to who have been experts at their jobs for a minimum of 10 years and therefore can in no way understand the complexities of what they do in a manner that you, with your week of diligent study (vis-a-vis, reading the Mission Statement) obviously do. For those to whom you report, your obsequiousness must be boundless, with fawning attention to every PowerPoint slide.

If you have a conscience (aka, soul), don't bother applying for a job as a consultant.

What Education Does A Consultant Need?Edit

What Special Equipment Do Consultants Need?Edit

Where Do Consultants Work?Edit

How Much Money Do Consultants Make?Edit

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