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When Congress wants to try to embarrass someone, or to politicize something, they send that someone a subpoena and ask him questions on a TV show called a Congressional Hearing.

Why Congress Holds HearingsEdit

Nancy Pelosi cannot hide her desire to control America's Planet. And now that she's in control of all of congress, she has been using it to indoctrinate every Christian American child to her way of thinking.

Historically, Congress would only hold hearings to investigate very important and very special issues. Now with the liberals in charge, Congress holds meetings on just about any damn thing. (Pelosi has even made the hearings clothing optional!)

Who Attends Congressional HearingsEdit

The type of hearing will determine who shows up. If Americans call a hearing, the congressmen of the committee will attend wearing smart dark suits and neatly groomed. If liberals call a hearing, anyone and their great-grandmonkey's uncle show up. Waving signs and showing their hoohahs like it's spring break.

Where The Hearings Take PlaceEdit

Special hearing rooms have been built into the U.S. Capitol building, outfitted with television recording equipment and long, hard tables where witnesses sit to give their testimony.

At the front of the room, the congressmen sit on a raised dias to question the witnesses about their so-called expertise or lob softballs to soften the blow of their congressional enemies.

What Happens During Congressional HearingsEdit

Liberals always make everything partisan. In the example below, Great Americans are helping America by being a true reflection of her populace and values, while the liberals do the work of Satan's Handmaiden.

Note, one of the liberals brought a book!

A Typical Congressional HearingEdit

These are stills taken from a typical congressional hearing recorded for posterity by CSPAN of a Judicial committee hearing. Each image consists of the person subjected to the hearing on the left (in this case The Greatest Attorney General Ever) and on the right, the person asking questions.

The first two columns show The Greatest Attorney General Ever being gently questioned by a true reflection of Real Americans.

The last two columns show The Greatest Attorney General Ever shamefully asked nosey questions by assorted liberal communist-homosexuals.

A True Reflection of the American Populace Helping Justice Get Served Filthy, filthy Communist, homosexual, baby-killing, Illegal Alien-hugging Scum Hurting The Baby Jesus
LamarSmithQsSpeedyJamesSensenbrennerQsSpeedy LindaSanchezQsSpeedyJerryNadlerQsSpeedy
HowardCobleQsSpeedyEltonGalleglyQsSpeedy BobbyScottQsSpeedyZoeLofgrenQsSpeedy
DanLundgrenQsSpeedyChrisCannonQsSpeedy SheilaJacksonLeeQsSpeedyMelvinWattQsSpeedy
BobGoodlatteQsSpeedySteveKingQsSpeedy MaxineWatersQsSpeedyWilliamDelahuntQsSpeedy
DarrellIssaQsSpeedyRandyForbesQsSpeedy JohnConyersQsSpeedyHowardBermanQsSpeedy
MikePenceQsSpeedyTomFeeneyQsSpeedy RobertWexlerQsSpeedyStephenCohenQsSpeedy
RicKellerQsSpeedyTrentFranksQsSpeedy HankJohnsonQsSpeedyBradShermanQsSpeedy
SteveChabotQsSpeedyLouisGohmertQsSpeedy TammyBaldwinQsSpeedyAdamSchiffQsSpeedy
JimJordanQsSpeedy ArturDavisQsSpeedyDWassermanSchultzQsSpeedy

Some of the Things Discovered During A Congressional HearingEdit

Examples of the Proper Way to Hold HearingsEdit

James Sensenbrenner conducts a hearing properly Saxby Chambliss questions a European whistle-blowing girlie man

Examples of the Liberal Way to Hold HearingsEdit

Gary Ackerman dares to question the CEOs of The Big Three about their personal transportation choices

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