"Confidence Games"
is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

Confidence Games are highly popular sporting activities in which politicians, members of the American Government, parties from the media, and other prominent figures declare their confidence or lack thereof in one another. The stakes of the game are high, with losers generally declaring the need to spend more time with their families.

How Confidence Games Are PlayedEdit

First Move: The "Key Player" fucks something up. Points are accorded based on scale of fuck-up, from lack of preparation for natural disaster[1] to ill-founded policy decisions wreaking havoc on international institutions[2] to blatant disregard for the United States Constitution.[3]

See AlsoEdit


  1. Remember, how you play it has everything to do with the scoring of Confidence Games. Hurricane Katrina won major points for Michael Brown, who clearly had the full confidence of The Greatest President Ever. The recent tornado in Kansas, on the other hand, cost Kathleen Sebelius vital confidence points because she failed to make a formal request for Disaster Aid.
  2. Following in the footsteps of John Bolton's huge success at the UN, the most recent recipient of International High Confidence is Paul Wolfowitz.
  3. World Record Confidence Game score held by Alberto Gonzales.


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