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Communism is a political ideology in which the soulless believer molests children, hates fetuses, and denies Jesus. The most noteable communist organization is the Democratic Party. Communists suffer godless angst due to the fact that they can't see the colors on the American Flag therefore making them Communist/on the Democratic Party.
Communists are people who feel a moral opposition to having to do work. Most of these traitors who hate war are angsty college students who fellate Noam Chomsky and think Che Guevara is the guy from Rage Against the Machine. When mommy and daddy don't buy you a car, it is oppression upon the proletariat! They use Babushkas for hiding their hallucinogens and abortion equipment, and only by taking away all of their many layers can we completely diffuse the Red Menace. The bears and their Canadiann cohorts have teamed up with communism so they are the communist tools. That’s why you should never trust a Canadian, they'll try to seduce you with their polite mannerisms, delicious flapjacks and legal marijuana, but they call ham "Canadian bacon", and that doesn't sit well with me, and judging by their past, this is just the first of many of their steps to infiltrate our society and take over. Today its ham, tomorrow we'll all be standing in line for medical marijuana provided by our free health care. And in a year the whole country will be red... red from the death of America! All because we were too naïve to see this coming. Which is why we should go on the offensive now, we have the upper hand NOW! They don’t know that we know that they are secretly trying invade us. They cunningly use Mexicans to distract us from the Canadian wave of Freedom-hating, Job-taking, FRENCH-SPEAKING immigrants. We need to use this to our advantage and launch a massive counter strike and start flooding their nation with billions of dollars in American pennies. "Why pennies?" you’re probably thinking (if your not, discontinue reading now and leave, no one likes a spoil-sport), well I’ll tell you, because our pennies are far superiour to theirs; our pennies have advanced technology built inside that allows NSA agents to monitor all who use it, as well as it should be.
We all, as Americans, know -as we have been taught- that our beautiful capitalist pennies are not only worth more, but are just generally a better penny. We have Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest Presidents ever on the back of our pennies, and what do they have? Maple leaves. Did maple leaves end slavery? Did maple leaves reunite a war torn nation? Did maple leaves wear a top hat and chin strap beard? I think not. And Canadians will, after realizing this, renonce their horrible socialist ways and call off the Canadian assalt on America. Communism is a deadly disease that can only be stopped by being handfed truthiness, so beware! One dose of Truthiness a day keeps communism away. Others claim that Communitsm was simply a discredited political philosophy born of the 19th century struggle between capital and the working class, but we don't think that's truthy. Communists have also been known to create websites like Move On and Democratic Party
Did You Know?Edit
The typical communist is only capable of seeing colors in the yellow-red range, which is why they hate U.S. Dollars and find looking at the American Flag frustrating. Some communists have been known to be able to also see the colors "black" and "white" - those communists are especially evil because this enables them to read books.
Americans are afraid of Cuba because they are communist and therefore hold superpowers. Cuban Cigars will actually turn you into a communist before you know it. Be afraid. If you want to got to Cuba, go to Canada first, that way if you turn Communist you will be Canada's problem.