Animated USflag
U R Here
Columbus, Ohio
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.
Baby hitler
Swastika 8
Columbus, Ohio
is a proud und perfect reflection of der Nazi Party.
Und makes The Baby Hitler dance der Goose-Step!

Columbus, Ohio
Mayor: Leroy Jenkins
City Motto: WWWD - What Would Woody Do? (A: not much)
Nickname: Fuck, why bother?
Theme Song: Hang On Sloopy
Population: Less than Wyoming
Standard MPH: 69 mph
Principal industries: scarlet red
Fun Fact # 1: Buckeyes suck dick
Fun Fact # 2: Buckeyes really suck dick

Situated at the junction of the Scioto and Olentangy rivers, Columbus serves as the capitol of the State of Ohio, and as the seat of the religion of Buckeyology. Buckeyeology is estimated to have between 300 million and 500 million adherents spread throughout the country and world.

Discovery Edit

Upon crossing the Ohio-Michigan border on US 23 south, one notices immediately that the road is made of bricks of ash. The burning fields of poppy flowers have been shown to make drivers so scared that they speed up from the usual 32 mph to 85 mph. It is in this state of fast-motion that the hell Columbus becomes visible.

The Big Bear Revolt Edit

For a dark time in Columbus history, the entire city was held in thrall by bears. And not just any bears, Big Bears. The world headquarters of "Big Bear" was located in Columbus. While Big Bear was ostensibly a grocery store chain, it's real mandate was the promotion of the Pro-Bear Agenda as directed by the Kremlin. This is still a problem today.

Columbus, Ohio Today Edit

Bears run free in the city, making it one of the worlds most feared places. Especially if you like Stephen Colbert.

Oh No!
Columbus, Ohio
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!

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