12,423pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0
CloseQNotes   "Blah, Blah, Blah,

Cocaine!"   OpenQNotes

~Eric Clapton
Cocaine -Snort This


A map of Columbia.

Columbia is a country south of America and borders with Panama and the Caribbean Sea like the evil Cuba with whom it has created a secret alliance to destroy the values of America and the rest of the world.

Capitol: Snortville
Official Flower: Cocoa Bean
Official Language: Junkie
Official Bird: The High Flyer
Motto: The Nation With a Sense of Smell
Common Name: Scarfacetopia
Regent: John Belushi
National Whore: "Kocaine Katy"
Official Anthem: "Land of the White"
Population: N/A too high for census
Principal imports: Laundered Money
Principal exports: Cocaine, Drug Smugglers
Principal industries: Coke Production

Drug IndustryEdit

The evil inhabitants of Columbia are well known for they growth of cocaine. What many, innocent, young Americans do not realize is that Columbians do not consume their own cocaine. Instead, they sell the drugs to American youth to corrupt them, take away their lives, and take their money out of the good ole' USA and spend it on whores and guns to kill more people. The only way for this menace to be stopped is by invading Columbia and burning down every speck of forest until they are all dead or have lost all of their cocaine.

Other Problems Edit

In Columbia it is custom for men to dress up as women and sleep with unsuspecting American tourists. Thinking it was his wife, the great Republican Governator of California-Arnold Swartzenager- accidentally slept with one of this sick people. Fortunately for the Governator, he was able to kill the tranny before either one of them climaxed- but you might not have super biceps so stay out of Columbia.

Conspiracies Edit

It is believed that Columbians are working with black bears to invade America. The cocaine is supposed to eliminate the young people and the bears will kill the old and weak until a Columbo-Ursa state is established in place of a Jesus sanctuary. This must be stopped.

People Known to Visit Columbia Edit

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki