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Colonel Sanders

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HeatherLocklearSQ
Like,
Colonel Sanders
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.


Colonel (pronounced: call-uh-null) Sanders is and was the first governor of Kentucky. He rules with and iron fist and a greasy hand.

The Colonel during times of WarEdit

The Colonel was one of America's greatest military strategists. His greatest victory came during the Battle of Vicksburg Ridge. Facing overwhelming enemy forces his men started to give up hope. Before they could mutiny and fly the ship home, The Colonel ordered his top officers to pelt his army with flour which stuck to their tear soaked uniforms. After blinding them with his secret blend of herbs and spices, he poured boiling oil down onto them from the crow's nest. The hurting and seriously confused troops ran up the ridge and frightened away the opposing forces. It was the single greatest land/sea/land victory in U.S. history, and not a shot was fired.

The Colonel's War CrimesEdit

The UN has recently arrested and prosecuted the Colonel for War Crimes against Chikenkind



MiscellaneousEdit

The Colonel researched his techniques by experimenting on chickens. The pile of failed experiments in the back of his house was the first KFC,

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