Colbert Nation/socal

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006 3A

"Look, a customer!"

socal is a member of Colbert Nation.

Background Edit

Because socal watches little if any television each day, his prominent presence on the Colboard is somewhat anomalous. As he explains it, he registered in the summer of 2006 only with the intention of leaving a brief, sardonic comment in the Political Discussion forum. Since then however, socal has persisted to the point of now having thousands such comments to his name. As if that weren't enough, he has also been using his time to rise to power within the Off Topic/Gabbly subculture.

socal's current circumstances of employment seem to be tied intimately to his presence in Colbert Nation, namely because he does not have internet access at home. He works at Up In Smoke smoke shoppe in San Diego, CA, where he also maintains a controlling interest. Idle time behind the counter is usually spent browsing the boards or getting high.

Recently, SoCal became the 3rd member in the Nation's history to break 10,000 posts, behind Astro and Dexter.

Old school

"Favorite red shirt"

Forum Beefs Edit

In contrast to the above mentioned description of socal's posts as brief and witty, he is also notorious for getting into extended, detailed arguments with other posters. These can often extend over several pages. Masterfully integrating both intellectualized and derisive arguments across prolonged counterattacks, socal's battles are a marvelous feat to behold, especially as they develop.

The following exchanges are excerpted from socal v. boobagale:

-No, you are told that the reason we are there is to help the Iraqi people, that doesn't mean it's the reason. If the Chinese told their people that they were invading America to help us, does that mean that that is the only reason they're doing that? Of course not, it's just what they tell their people so that they have support at home for the actions they take abroad. If that's their stance, does that mean that you and I are any less justified in taking up arms against them?

-Oh I get it, you're another one of those "conspiracy" theorists and think that this is all just a big government plot for some other bullshit purpose. Read the news buddy, we ARE helping Iraq. Goddammit, I REFUSE to believe you are that dumb.

-Yes, I realize you didn't give me a real response, you just reinterated the only point you've made, repeatedly, "You're dumb." The point of the allegory was to get you to see it from the Iraqi perspective, which you are not able to for some odd reason, so let's move on.


"Secretly a great dancer"

-If Bush tells a lie, are we supposed to just believe it, just because he said it?

-If Bush tells a lie, he tells it because that's what you need to hear. If lieing[sic] to a child and saying, "Eat your vegetables, because they can give you superpowers" is what it takes to get him/her to eat them, then that's what you should do.

-Bush is not the parent of America though, that is not a valid comparrison. Bush is not our master, that's not what the office of the Presidency of the United States of America stands for. It is not the presidents job to tell us what to do, what to think, and how to act. That would make him a dictator, and even though we may install those all over the world, we do not have an office for one in this country. The presidents only job is to uphold the Constitution, and he has done more to destroy that than every other president combined.

Additionally, being an adult, I do not need to be lied to. Some of us are intelligent enough to handle the truth and expect nothing less from people whos job it is to do just that. As an American, I am ashamed when our government lies to it's people. It's a mockery of what this country stands for and it makes me almost as sick to my stomach as your ignorance does.

Member Groups Edit

Known Aliases Edit

  • Sokes (NB: only Ger actually calls him by this retarded nick)
  • DVS
  • Doc
  • The Mail Man
  • Head hunter
  • The Nilla
  • Flintstone Dick (The Bedrocker)
  • Funk Doctor Spock
  • The Pink Storm

Memorable Quotes Edit

  • "Try 'Yahoo Fundamentalist Christian Teen Chat' you fucking loon."
  • "Some people wonder why there's a sepia print of Tim Curry in drag hanging in my living room."
  • "People who turn out like Ger are the reason Colbert doesn't let his kids watch the show."
  • "Boo fuckin hoo, not anyone elses fault she's an idiot."
  • "I dreamt last night that I lived back in Hawaii and 'I Made Tek's Costume' came to visit, and was black, and I was like, "you lied to me..."
  • "Write your congressman, his trashcan needs to look full or people won't think he's working."
  • "That would be a better idea, I've just been throwing them away while she's at work and using the 'well if you picked up after yourself you'd know where they are' defense."
  • "I shouldn't rape anyone, as that is wrong."
  • "hahaha, I just remembered, when I walked into my bathroom last night there was my cats period blood on the ground, it was gross but I couldnt help laughing"
  • "Ger can't be against "nailing" anything, as that would mean finally losing his virginity."
  • "That depends, how do you feel about male frontal nudity?"
  • "Did you hear that tek, I'm not wearing underwear"
  • "In Cali as soon as the first raindrop hits someones windshield, people start driving into each other like Asians."
  • "One thing that's 100% when taking a shower with a guy, you know when you get out those titties are gonna sparkle."
  • "There's enough blood covering that place without a cat's vag leaking everywhere."
  • "Yeah, that would just be asking for something to be forcibly inserted into you; and no one wants that."
  • "I'm just a nigga who likes titties."
  • "Who cares bitch? You can't post a picture of yourself on a site you promote, then get mad when someone uses it. I don't know how things work in Canada, but we're not pussies down here. Grow the fuck up."
  • "Were it legal and cheap, and I was single and on a dry spell, and she was the kind of hot ass hooker that you don't know is a working girl till you get to the room and she lays out the prices, pretty sure I'd see if she took Visa."
  • "If I had to do a man it would be Mathew McConehey, if I had to blow a guy it would be Ger because his penis is so small I could pretend it was something else."
  • "I also only watch when the President speaks so I don't miss it if he's assasinated."

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