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Captain John is the captain of the Colbert Loyalists Flagship, CNS(Colbert Nation's ship) Stephen Colbert. He is a close friend of Wiggles and Prof. McDoc. He has recently been promoted to admiral, but prefers being called Captain John in conversation and on the CNS Stephen Colbert. He is also the only bear-combating member of the Colbert Loyalists at sea most of the time.
He retired on November 4, 2008.