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The BOMB Squad, or the Brotherhood Of Men with Beards, was formed to spread: the joy of beard growing, beard maintenance, beard styles, Allah’s blessings coming from the beard, beard trivia, and ho's legs. Most BOMB squad members are age 18-30, and enjoy such non-beard related things as good music, video games, tokin up, drinking, and all types of ill shit. Although all the members are both master martial artist and weapons specialist they rarely engage in combat, as their beards cause the opposition to flee in terror and shame for their lack of beard.
BOMB Squad Motto Edit
We have a word for men without beards, we call them "boys"
Current Members Edit
List under construction
Eaglebear (CEO, founder, Field Marshal)
Derrick (VP, Aide de camp, General)
Ghost of JP54 (International intelligence officer, Lowrider technical officer)
Gynvan (Domestic intelligence officer)
Dpayne (Pain bringer / ninja)
Half of Socal (Political officer, Naval commander)
Kristy (Honorary member due to her unkempt and excessively hairy snooch)
Hatröss Dementia (Secretary of Death Metal, CT/tard checka)
QuickTriggaMcWigga (WIT - Wigga in training)
BOMB Squad Allies Edit
- ZZ Top
- Grizzly Adams
- Uncle Jesse
- Che Guevara
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
- Tamil Tigers
BOMB Squad Enemies Edit
- Circus Midgets
- Wolf Blitzer (that beard aint real!)
- gip, the beard hater
Current Mission Edit
Getting Dexter Sinister to push out a man-pelt
What God Says About Beards! Edit
- "The beard signifies the courageous; the beard distinguishes the grown men, the earnest, the active, and the vigorous. So that when we describe such, we say, he is a bearded man." (St. Augustine, Commentary on Psalm CXXXIII (133), 4th Century)
- "Ye shall not round the corners of your heads; neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard." (Leviticus 19:27)
- "Holy is the Being who adorned men with beards and women with braids" (Takmela e Bahr al Raiq, Vol. 3, p. 331)
- "Men may not destroy the hair of their beards and unnaturally change the form of a man. For the Law says, "You shall not mar your beards." For God the Creator has made this decent for women, but has determined that it is unsuitable for men." (The Apostolic Constitutions, AD 390)
- "I asked Khabbab bin Al-Art whether the Prophet used to recite the Qur'an in the Zuhr and the 'Asr prayers. He replied in the affirmative. I said, 'How did you come to know that?' He replied, 'From the movement of his beard.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Characteristics of Prayer, Volume 1, Book 12, Number 728)
- "The Prophet said, 'There will emerge from the East some people who will recite the Qur'an but it will not exceed their throats and who will go out of the religion as an arrow passes through the game, and they will never come back to it unless the arrow, comes back to the middle of the bow (i.e., impossible). The people asked, 'What will their signs be?' He said, 'Their sign will be the habit of shaving their beards." (Fateh Al-Bari, Page 322, Vol. 17th).
- "You, young men, honor those with beards. And if there is a man of thirty with a beard and one of fifty, or sixty, or a hundred who shaves, place the one with the beard above the one who shaves, in Church as well as at the table" (St. Kosmas Aitolos)
|Beards in spaaaaaaaace!|