November elections got you down? House in re-runs? Ready to get away? Forget suicide, it's time to try something new!
Hello, I’m Onyx Blackman and I’m here to tell you a seven-day, six-night, high-seas celebration of the good ol’ U.S. of A. Come, join Stephen Colbert for a once-in-a-lifetime vacation we call the Colbert Cruise.
This year, the theme of the Colbert Cruise is:
The Colbert SeminarsEdit
Come, mingle, and skeetshoot with like minded patriots and relax in a buffet-rich environment. Then, find out what you can do to take America back in our Colbert Seminars, featuring speakers such as:
Delighful Off-Ship ExcursionsEdit
You too can spread democracy by voting with your wallet at exotic destinations like our on-board mall. Marvel at the exotic wildlife of the Galapagos Islands and then picket the Charles Darwin research station.
All Aboard Fun!Edit
Upon your return to the ship, feast on unlimited cocktail shrimp.
And in our 500-seat cabaret, delight in our Vegas style show girls, topless, but still family friendly!
The Colbert Cruise may be about American values, but it takes place in international waters, so you’ll want to visit our lavish casino with six roulette tables, a mile of nickel slots, and the best appointed cock-fight pit on the seven seas.
You may even have a chance to play poker with:
The Colbert Cruise launches from the Port of New York this March, so hurry and get your tickets today! Slots are filling up fast! Don’t forget to take advantage of your Eager Eagle Discount!