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Colbert Cruise

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Colbert Cruise
is available for purchase
from and for the benefit of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
Colbert cruise logoColbert cruise logoColbert cruise logo
Patriot Blackman


November elections got you down? House in re-runs? Ready to get away? Forget suicide, it's time to try something new!



Hello, I’m Onyx Blackman and I’m here to tell you a seven-day, six-night, high-seas celebration of the good ol’ U.S. of A. Come, join Stephen Colbert for a once-in-a-lifetime vacation we call the Colbert Cruise.



ThemeEdit

This year, the theme of the Colbert Cruise is:

THE FIGHT TO TAKE BACK AMERICA
Morals and Family on the High Seas.

ActivitiesEdit

The Colbert SeminarsEdit

Colbert seminar


Come, mingle, and skeetshoot with like minded patriots and relax in a buffet-rich environment. Then, find out what you can do to take America back in our Colbert Seminars, featuring speakers such as:



Newt Gingrich
Gingrich

Not Yet Committed

Rusty Wallace
Wallace rusty portrait1

Not Yet Committed

And special appearances by:
Stephen Colbert!
Colbert eyebrow

Not Yet Committed


Delighful Off-Ship ExcursionsEdit

Cruise picket


You too can spread democracy by voting with your wallet at exotic destinations like our on-board mall. Marvel at the exotic wildlife of the Galapagos Islands and then picket the Charles Darwin research station.




All Aboard Fun!Edit

Cruise showgirls

Upon your return to the ship, feast on unlimited cocktail shrimp.

And in our 500-seat cabaret, delight in our Vegas style show girls, topless, but still family friendly!

The Colbert Cruise may be about American values, but it takes place in international waters, so you’ll want to visit our lavish casino with six roulette tables, a mile of nickel slots, and the best appointed cock-fight pit on the seven seas.

You may even have a chance to play poker with:

Ron Silver
Ron silver

Not Yet Committed


Cruise cake

And, every night at midnight, everyone on board gets an American Flag sheet cake! So, climb aboard the Colbert Cruise for fun, freedom, and family, and put unpatriotic vacations

ON NOTICE!


Ticket InformationEdit

The Colbert Cruise launches from the Port of New York this March, so hurry and get your tickets today! Slots are filling up fast! Don’t forget to take advantage of your Eager Eagle Discount!

NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!
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