Colbert Aluminum

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Colbert Aluminum
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

Colbert Aluminum is the name of Dr. Colbert's low-end segment for left-over foodEpisode #364

October 20, 2008 EditionEdit


  • Dr. Colbert is not immune, he has been hit personally by the banking crisis
    • cannot fill the Colbert Platinum hot tub with champagne
  • introduce new segment, for the scaled-back viewer:
    • Colbert Aluminum
      • this segment is for aluminum members only
      • if you've haven't had a yacht repossessed in the last 3 months, change the channel

Points Discussed

  • move to less expensive city
    • Forbes
      • Sikorsky, you don't want to be seen in an America's Choice helicopter
      • Paris, France
  • protect your money
    • multiple accounts to spread your risk
  • high-net worth players shouldn't
  • Stealth Wealth
    • Luxury Institute renaming itself "Fancy Spot"
      • Key don't look like a wealthy a-hole, just a jag off
    • Vertu Cobra phone shoots venom into your neck
      • when the Dow dips below $310,000
    • rich people's phones also contain a button for Threven, the number they don't tell poor people about
  • Dr. Colbert may have to eat his shoes if the market doesn't turn around
    • his shoes are made of veal

See AlsoEdit

  • Colbert Cardboard, the fan-created page created to honor Dr. Colbert when his writers were on strike

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