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Colbert's Paradox

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At present there are three seemingly different, but possibly related, paradoxes known as Colbert's Paradox. Perhaps one day they will be tied within a Unified Theory.

Colbert's First ParadoxEdit

Colbert's (First) Paradox is an old but still unsolved cosmological paradox. It is usually stated this way:

If there are infinitely many stars in Hollywood, why isn't Hollywood as uniformly bright as Stephen Colbert?

Colbert's Second ParadoxEdit

In mathematics, Colbert's (Second) Paradox originates from within the esoteric world of set theory and also The Facebook. It is usually stated in this way:

Colbert >>>> Everything

Yet, the paradox is, Colbert is within the set of Everything thus making Colbert greater than himself. Strangely, it can be rigorously proved that Colbert's inequality (Colbert > Colbert) does strictly hold.

The proof of Colbert's (Second) Paradox is trivial, consisting of only a few lines, but the definitions which lead up to (and are used within) the proof are so complicated that you will never ever understand them, even in a billion years, so don't even try. Sorry, idiot.

Colbert's Third ParadoxEdit

For millenaries, logicians were puzzled by many variants of what is today universally known as Colbert's (Third) Paradox, since Stephen Colbert stated it best:

I am lying now.

If that sentence is true, then it must be false, since it is true. But if it is false, then it must be true, since it is false. That paradox showed that the common notions of truth and falsity actually lead to a contradiction. That was until Colbert came and brilliantly solved the contradiction by introducing the unifying and powerful concept of truthiness.

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