Coalition of the Willing is a multi-national force armed with various musical instruments of mass destruction. This causes much confusion as the public tends to believe that they number in the hundreds of thousands. Those counted are not soldiers but fans that want to meet His Excellency András Simonyi backstage to discuss "bi-lateral relations." András also has five bandmates that can also sign autographs on groupies' various body parts.
Contrary to popular belief, it isn't that easy for the group to find gigs in Washington D.C. Most people living within the beltway listen to rap, sex machine John Ashcroft, or ho-pimping MC Rove. Stay strong, you humble coalition!
Members of the CoalitionEdit
Take note that most of the members of COTW have jobs on the side to keep food on the table until their record sales take off. They would have done alright on the thousands of albums they've sold so far, but unfortunately you and your peers have been pirating their work. Eliot Spitzer is not pleased. Shame on you.
- Lincoln "Pressure-Trigger" Bloomfield on bass - used to tell Dubya how Korea was being blown up as Assistant Secretary of State.
- Daniel Poneman on guitar - former National Security Officer, who used to tell Clinton when to blow up North Korea as a presidential aide.
- Alexander Vershbow on drums - professional drummer. He makes ends meet selling non-essential secrets and Budweiser on the streets of Seoul as the U.S. Ambassador to South Korea. Korea is still around, which means he's doing fine as far as his diplomatic abilities are concerned. Bandmates worry that he comes to practice bruised from Taekwondo battles with Rain and reeking of week-old kimchi.
- Dan McDermott alternate on drums - works for a firm that is attempting to create some ridiculous communist workers' paradise, no doubt modeled after something from North Korea. He's most likely a communist himself, but Mr. Vershbow is usually away in Korea and it's hard to find good drummers in D.C.
- Jeff "Skunk" Baxter on guitar - long time rock veteran, tells the Pentagon how to blow up terrorists, mostly in Korea.
The Coalition's Plan for Bringing Democracy to RockEdit
The Coalition of the Willing is currently preparing for their first tour of American duty, to be called "Def To America". Following the quick and unparalleled success of this tour, in which they will be greeted as shred liberators by audiences across the country, the band will go on a second tour to battle the Monsterz of Terror in a fanciful display of Guitarmageddon. Proceeds from this battle will go to fund treatment for drummer Vershbow's addiction to Korean prostitutes.
The Coalition's first album, "The Coalition of the Thrilling," is scheduled for release in January, 2009.