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Coach Bob Mancini

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Telephone
Coach Bob Mancini
dialed up "The Colbert Report " as an On The Phone guest
and got nailed in the process.


Mancini

Coach

Coach Bob Mancini is the head coach and general manager of the Saginaw Spirit, the only American hockey team in the Ontario Hockey League. The Spirit are Stephen Colbert's favorite team, for they named their mascot, Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, in Stephen's honor. As the coach of Colbert's favorite hockey team, Mancini is considered a great American. Mancini gets to decide who plays and who doesn't, and he is the one who comes up with the strategy and game plan.

BiographyEdit

Coach Mancini grew up wanting to someday become the Coach of the greatest hockey team ever. He attended Coach School and graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Hockey Coaching (BHC). He started his coaching career for some shitty little hockey teams, and frankly, who cares where they were or how they played. The important thing is that Mancini busted his rear end to get all the way up to Saginaw, and is now where he belongs, coaching the greatest hockey team ever.

Perhaps one day he will go back to Coach School and earn his Doctorate in Hockey Coaching, in which case his name would become Dr. Coach Bob Mancini, DHC. However, if he already has his dream job, why would he need to do that??

Interview with Stephen ColbertEdit

After The Saginaw Spirit dropped three games in a row in early December, Stephen Colbert felt that Coach Mancini obviously needed his players to start fore-checking in the neutral zone to reverse the slide. Stephen Colbert addressed these concerns in an interview with Mancini on the 12-5-2006 episode of The Colbert Report.

Colbert again talked to Mancini on the 1-25-2007 episode of the Report, to get information on whether or not he should accept a bet with the Mayor of Oshawa over the outcome of the upcoming Spirit vs. Oshawa Generals game.

Colbert once again talked to Mancini on the 3-22-2007 episode of the Report, just prior to Saginaw's first game of the playoffs.

Mancini FactoidsEdit

  • Mancini felt his team's troubles were due to his left wings and his right wings not working together. This is bullshit, because the Saginaw Spirit do not have any such left wing liberals on their roster. Why would Colbert support a hockey team if it had liberals on it??
  • After their losing streak in early December, Mancini told Stephen Colbert that he felt his team was only giving 101%, which is nine percent less than acceptable.
  • After talking to Colbert, Mancini had his team vigorously practice their forechecking in the neutral zone, and the Spirit won their next two games handily over the Sault Sainte Marie Greyhounds. It can now be assumed that the Spirit players are once again giving the acceptable 110%.
  • Mancini's accent reveals that he is from New York City, and therefore shouldn't be trifled with. He will carve you within an inch of your life with his pitcher-stick if you mess with him.
  • Mancini appears to be open to the idea of injecting his players with stuff to give them a competitive edge. But if it is done to bring victory to a team Stephen Colbert loves, there's nothing wrong with that.
  • Mancini has never seen the film Air Bud.

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