Closed Congressional Session

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Closed Congressional Session
is part of the United States Federal Government.
Don't ask; asking only helps the terrorists.

Attention: "Closed Congressional Session" contains classified information.
Only authorized personnel with the proper clearances can view "Closed Congressional Session"

When Congress must discuss information of such sensitivity that it rises to the level of secrecy ███, the members must be provided the ability to do so without regard to sanction or scrutiny afterward. Any member may request Congress meet in secret, as there are no consequences for asking Congress to meet in secret to discuss information that does not rise to the level of actually being classified ██████. Although Congress may later vote to release the minutes of the meeting in whole or in part into the Congressional Record.

The Purpose Of Holding A Closed Session Of CongressEdit

If, for instance, Congress has been considering a bill that The Greatest President Ever insists will protect America while at the same time being totally Constitutional, by the way.

Just imagine then, that this bill (this hypothetical America-protecting, totally Constitutional bill) is being held up by one, cowardly fraction of its membership because they keep saying it gives blanket immunity to the telecom corporations that broke the law so that warrantless domestic surveillance could take place with impunity.

Who Can Request A Closed Session?Edit

  • secret meetings can only be requested by members of the minority party after a bill that protects their donors cannot be passed through traditional means (i.e. open debate followed by adoption via majority vote)
  • secret meetings can only be requested after normal business hours, just prior to a two-week vacation
  • secret meetings can only be requested, if by requesting it the American people can have the shit scared out of them


  • the Senate has had 54 closed sessions since 1929
  • the House has only met in closed session five times since 1825
  • America was attacked by terrorists only after Congress stopped having closed sessions

See AlsoEdit

Do Not Also SeeEdit

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