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City Hall

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First-Main
BackToTheFutureClocktower
City Hall
can be found in any all-American hometown!
2-272-1-3

An example of a stately City Hall.

When important people who live in the same town need to discuss issues important to their town, they go to a big building called City Hall.

Where City Hall Can Be FoundEdit

City Halls are general found in the oldest part of town, unless they have received enough bribes to be able to afford to relocate to the best part of town. The building tends to look offical. Its often open to the public. Inside you give your money to the nice cashier for whatever it is you want to do. Public restrooms are free.

Departments in City Hall (in reverse order of importance) Edit

ManWashingBoots

A representitive of the Janitorial & Bathroom Servicing Dept.

  • Finance Dept
  • Dept of Homeland Security (Local Branch)
  • Public Safety Dept
  • Dept of Licensing & Bribes
  • Public Works Dept
  • Dept of Planning & Imminent Domain
  • Recycling & Hazardous Waste Cover-up Dept.
  • Dept of Administration & Micromanaging
  • Media Services Dept
  • Dept of Printing, Propaganda, & Free Mail
  • Janitorial & Bathroom Servicing Dept
  • Dept of Genetic Purity
  • Parks & Rec Dept
  • Dept of Outsourcing

Rooms in a City Hall Edit

City Hall Floorplan

A Typical Floorplan of a City Hall.

LegendEdit

  • B = Bathrooms

Rooms 1-10Edit

  • 1 = Foyer
  • 2 = Lunch Room & Dinner Theater
  • 3 = Employee Public Humiliation and Termination Room
  • 4 = Freemason Meeting Hall
  • 5 =
  • 6 =
  • 7 = Library
  • 8 =
  • 9 =
  • 10 = Wedding Suite

Rooms 11-20Edit

  • 11 = Bowling Alley
  • 12 = Planning Dept Map Room
  • 13 = Arcade
  • 14 = Meeting Room
  • 15 =
  • 16 =
  • 17 = Computer Room
  • 18 = Chamber of Commerce
  • 19 =
  • 20 = Bathroom for Gay Encounters (Support Group)

Rooms 21-30Edit

  • 21 = Archives
  • 22 = Waiting Room
  • 23 =
  • 24 =
  • 25 = Porn Confiscation Reading Room
  • 26 = Halliburton Local Branch Office
  • 27 =
  • 28 = Disaster Observation Lounge (called the EOC by outsiders)
  • 29 = Lethal Injection Lounge and Massage Parlor
  • 30 =

Rooms 31-40Edit

  • 31 =
  • 32 = Dog Kennel
  • 33 = Council Chamber
  • 34 = Vault
  • 35 = Torture Chamber
  • 36 =
  • 37 =
  • 38 =
  • 39 = Inner Sanctum
  • 40 = City Manager's Private Salon

Rooms 41-47Edit

  • 41 = Laundry Room
  • 42 = Crematorium
  • 43 = Media Services
  • 44 =
  • 45 =
  • 46 =
  • 47 =

People Who Work At City HallEdit

JohnTylerHammonsMayor

"Maybe you have the wrong department, try that line overthere."

The people who work for City Hall are the Lords of Chaos. Their designs are what you see on the street. Whenever there is a local conspiracy that needs to be promoted, your local city employee will be there.

Their job duties include:

  • Accepting Bribes from the Appropriate Business
  • Obfuscating public records
  • Being Officious
  • Developing new methods to inconvenience the average citizen.
  • Fawning before the City Council

What Happens At City HallEdit

SwastikaBarracks

Urban Renewal.

City Halls are the organizational nexus of the average city. Their job is to green light ugly projects and try to prevent any worthwhile cause from occurring within their jurisdiction. Their job is to also promote their individual department. Its a race, to see which department can be on top. The one with the most money wins. Or barring that, try to sabotage the other department so that the other department can't win. After all if you can't win, why should they?

The City Manger acts as the Overlord of all this. All favors, sexual or otherwise, go to him. His word is law. One word from him and you're out on the street and a 25 year old has taken your place, even with your 10 years of service. But who's bitter?

City Halls also provide public restrooms. The average City Hall restroom is a delightful thing, with nude paintings of nubile young men and fragrant bidets. Well recommended.

Occasionally, an elected City Council might meet there, however strictly speaking this is unnecessary, its the employees who really run things.

See also:Edit

Bathroom

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