Cindy McCain
is a Proud Republican Goddess
God Bless America

Cindy after her rodeo days, but before allegations about a drug habit surfaced


Cindy after allegations of drug abuse, but before cosmetic surgery

The only child of a beer baron Cindy McCain is the half cyborg 2nd wife[1] of American hero, Arizona Senator and Republican candidate for President, John McCain! Married in 1980 Cindy and John lost no time in Marrying....only a month after McCain divorced his first wife for getting ugly.

As with all God fearing, American women....Cindy got her clutches into McCain and never let go.....leading many to believe she may be a succubus.....but it is hard to tell through the make-up.

Cindy used to be a rodeo clown..... I mean queen, and had to retire once she married John.

Her family was in the distilling business and had to quit once Cindy was born.

Cindy is also an accomplished chef, pilot and all around trophy for John.

Some people claim Cindy was addicted to drugs. But, a quick bookkeeping of this time in her life, and no drugs or allegations of drug use is evident.

Cindy was instrumental in the development of the early 1980s miniseries V because she eats live rodents, head first, without chewing.

Cindy is addicted to heavy face makeup to cover her skeletor face.

Mob TiesEdit

Cindy has no mob ties. No one in her family has ever had ties to the mob, any mob, any criminally-connected mob. None.

Glad to clear this up.

Upheld Her Family ValuesEdit

While liberals call it "incest", other Americans see Cindy's marriage to her father as sound business sense.

The Accounting Sciences Society recommends the Hensley Merger (as it was thus dubbed) as a way to ease inheritances.

So, liberals are wrong again.


  1. However she is McCain's first non-disfigured wife.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.