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|Churchill (Canadian Town)|
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|Population:||6 dirty natives, 1,146,045 polar bears|
|Standard MPH:||3 MPH snowshoes, 12 MPH dogsled|
|Principal industries:||snow, polar bears and whales|
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Churchill is a town in Manitoba. Two things can be found in Churchill, cold and bears. This combinaison is one of the most horrific duos imaginable. Not only is it dangerous to set foot on Manitoba soil, it is terrifing to see that Churchill uses polar bears to attract tourists.
The town of Churchill (in Manitoba) is literally a gigantic hill with a huge church-esque building on it. Churchill is attempting to brainwash everyone into thinking that the Church wants to kill them! Which, surveys say, 99% of people who have been to Churchill and have managed to survive it believe that the Church wishes to kill them. The 1% consists of Stephen Colbert, who is alone immune to the powers of the bears and of Churchill.
This must be part of Manitoba's plan to cultivate bear-loving freaks. However they are attempting to shove their bear camaradery down Americans throats by telling them that bears can be nice to look at. They even bring innocent people on bear buses. These dangerous vehicles bring people into the wild where they are exposed to the polar bears' horrific presence.
Churchill was discovered 5000 years ago by people from Denmark. They didn't want it, so they left.
Some 2000 years later the British arrived and, being the greedy expansionist pigs that they are, decided to settle the shit-hole.
3 years later they started a company to profit from the slaughtering of deadly bears.
They built a fort. The smelly French conquered the fort then tried to blow it up, it didn't work so they left. Rather than re occupy the British chose to abandon the fort, due to the smell left by over 4000 dirty Frenchmen. French influence after that battle was responsible for the gradual dismantling of the bear slaughtering infrastructure. To be replaced many years later with French-Canadian support for bears and bear-lovers.
It is widely believed that Churchill contributed to The Left Wing Madness.
2009 Canadian census reports it's still a shit-hole.
Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods In ChurchillEdit
The fort nobody wanted. Still smells.