Hello, Kitty
Hello, Chinese (language)
Asian and very good at math.


This Article Doesn't Contain Enough Truthiness
This article needs to be more elaborate and truthy.

Please edit out any facts.

Chinese (中文) language is commonly referred to in China as ching-chong-ching (普通话) or in the West as DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING (gesturing to indicate lack of comprehension).

There are other languages in China such as English, British and Australian, but it seems that most Chinese people refuse to speak these languages out of a general hatred of America, Jesus and apple pie. Why they hate America so much is an ancient Chinese secret.

The ideograms that make the written Chinese language look like a rorschach test date back to nearly 5000 years ago, just 1000 years after God created the Earth. Early Chinese was written on turtle shells to placate their god, John the Baptist. Mikail sucks rocks

Example Chinese Characters and PronunciationEdit

Sample TextEdit

我与您将谈话在平原, 简单的英语。并且那带来我们给今晚的词: ' truthiness 。' 现在我是肯定的一些' 词警察, ' ' wordinistas 的在韦伯斯特的认为, ' 嘿, 不是词。' 很好, 任何人知道我认识我是字典或参考书没有风扇- 他们是杰出人物。经常告诉我们什么是或不是真实的或什么做了或没有发生。谁是Brittanica 告诉我1914 年巴拿马运河被完成了? 如果我想要说1941 年它发生了是我的权利。ching chong wing wong king kong ling long sing song ding dong fing fong hing hong




Flag quote open clear2
I will speak to you in plain, simple English. And that brings us to tonight's word: 'truthiness.' Now I'm sure some of the 'word police,' the 'wordinistas' over at Webster's are gonna say, 'hey, that's not a word.' Well, anybody who knows me knows I'm no fan of dictionaries or reference books - they're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true or what did or didn't happen. Who's Brittanica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914? If I want to say it was happened in 1941 that's my right.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
The Colbert Report October 21, 2006

Chinese Classical LiteratureEdit

The Four Classics, the cannon of ancient Chinese literature are:

  • Dream of the Red Mansion 红楼梦
  • A Pilgrimage to the West 西游记
  • Water Margin 水浒传
  • The Three Kingdoms 三国演义.

Dream of the Red MansionEdit

The title of Dream of the Red Mansion contains a deliberate play on words by the author. In Chinese, the charater for red 红 could be disassembled and rearranged to create the character for white 百. Thus, the intentions of the author were to write of the Dream of the White House. This proves that Chinese had predicted the rise of American power and their high regard of Mickey Mouse and McDonald's.

A Pilgrimage to the WestEdit


Monkey King meets the Master

Water MarginEdit


Mickey Rooney as The Water Margin protagonist Song Jiang; another tasteful cross-cultural performance from American cinema

The Three KingdomsEdit


Action figures from the Three Kingdoms out to fight for truthiness and the American way

[/url?q= ]


[/url?q= ]

[/url?q= ]

Chinese Mass MediaEdit

The Chinese mass media are it-getters much like those in the Colbert Nation. They understand the need for people to feel the truth with their gut rather than deal with the dangers of thinking with the brain. When Chinese mass media tells you that only a couple of hundred people died in the Tiananmen Square Massacre, you can feel good about being a truly informed and educated citizen.

Government press agencies like Xinhua 新华社 (New China) spread the truth to Chinese patriots even if they have to distort facts for the sake of truthiness.

Dr. Stephen Colbert demonstrated to his Nation that he too enjoys the truthiness of Chinese media on his Nov 14, 2006 show when the camera caught him casually reading Shijie Ribao 世界日报 (The World Newspaper).

Tidbits of Truthiness Edit

  • Chinese is an fairly new language spoken by communists
  • reading Chinese will turn you into a Liberal
  • Chinese is easier to learn than most terrorist languages
  • There are no languages in China
  • Tibetan is a dialect of Southern Iraq
  • Shanghaiese is a dialect of WalMart
  • Cantonese is a dialect of Ching-Chaw-Chee
  • Hakka is a dialect of no known origin
  • Taiwanese is a dialect of Kenya
  • Uighur is a dialect of England
  • Taiwanese is a dialect of France
  • Chinese linguistics is about objective facts of the Chinese language
  • Rosie O'Donnell speaks fluent fake Chinese

See AlsoEdit

External TubeEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.