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Charlene

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WonkyEarPub08
TinyIsland
Charlene
is a friend an acquaintance of "The Colbert Report"
The Report has no friends...


Colbert Music Video

He's right behind you now, Charlene.


Origin StoryEdit

Charlene was a woman Stephen Colbert dated in the '80s and it has been suggested she is Stephen's cousin.

She has since gotten married and may or may not have filed a restraining order against him. Regardless, some people still say that she and Stephen are destined to be together.

RumorsEdit

Because Charlene became depressed and went into hiding, the facts have often been replaced by conjectures from the liberal media, including:

  • Stephen's Charlene was none other than pop singer Charlene, famous for the one hit wonder I've Never Been to Me, reportedly written after Stephen dropped her for someone who wasn't born in Hollywood.

SongEdit

Stephen's natural and quasi-legal love for Charlene was the inspiration for his song and music video entitled, "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)" by his 1980's band, Stephen and the Colberts.

Although it has been suggested by liberal whoremongers who want to bring down Colbert Nation that Stephen has "stalked" Charlene, there is no Truthiness to that claim. Stephen Colbert stalks no one! If Stephen wants a woman, she will throw herself at his feet! Examples include Charlene from Arlington, Virginia, who would willingly throw herself at any part of Stephen Colbert. There's still a chance! Husbands die all the time!

Film appearanceEdit

Connely

The beautiful Jennifer Connelly plays Charlene in the movie adaptation of the Rampaging Colbert.

In the films The Rampaging Colbert and The Rampaging Colbert 2, Charlene is Colbert's girlfriend. She is portrayed by Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer had to be dropped because she couldn't understand the importance of monogamy and marriage to Stephen.

TriviaEdit

Stephen Colbert is over Charlene. So Charlene, get over it. He is done waiting and if you ever want to talk Colbert just to remissness you can reach him at his new email address Stephen@CharleneForever.com.

External TubeEdit

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