Charlene was a woman Stephen Colbert dated in the '80s and it has been suggested she is Stephen's cousin.
- Stephen's Charlene was none other than pop singer Charlene, famous for the one hit wonder I've Never Been to Me, reportedly written after Stephen dropped her for someone who wasn't born in Hollywood.
Although it has been suggested by liberal whoremongers who want to bring down Colbert Nation that Stephen has "stalked" Charlene, there is no Truthiness to that claim. Stephen Colbert stalks no one! If Stephen wants a woman, she will throw herself at his feet! Examples include Charlene from Arlington, Virginia, who would willingly throw herself at any part of Stephen Colbert. There's still a chance! Husbands die all the time!
In the films The Rampaging Colbert and The Rampaging Colbert 2, Charlene is Colbert's girlfriend. She is portrayed by Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer had to be dropped because she couldn't understand the importance of monogamy and marriage to Stephen.
Stephen Colbert is over Charlene. So Charlene, get over it. He is done waiting and if you ever want to talk Colbert just to remissness you can reach him at his new email address Stephen@CharleneForever.com.