Some people think that catholics believe there are "saints" who protect people where ever they go, no matter what they do, like some kind of Heavenly tag-team of bodyguards. This is not true. What Catholics do beleive is that, with the help of God, saints, which are people who loved God and went to Heaven with Him when the died, can do good works for people here on earth. By praying, God will bless you, no matter how small the blessing may be. Saints are not bodyguards. They are more like helpers in Gods master plan for all of us.

Here is an exhaustive list of all the Catholic Saints and what aspect of life they protect. None of these saints are rreal, but simply a joke.

Saint Name Area of Protection Miracles Performed
Drew Brees Patron Saint of West-Coast Offense. Threw three touchdown passes to Mike Karney!
Reggie "W" Bush Patron Saint of Heisman Trophy winners. Has actually lived up to own hype!
Marquis Colston Patron Saint of 7th round draft picks. People actually know who he is!
Deuce McAllister Patron Saint of running it up the middle. Came back from career ending injury.
Will Smith Patron Saint of people with the same name as famous movie stars. Kept Tony Romo in the pocket.
Sean Peyton Patron Saint of first year coaches. Has not had his career ruined by coaching New Orleans

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