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Carl Cameron

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Hi There

Carl Cameron is officially known as the chief correspondent on the President for Fox News, but to cast him as just another cog in the media system would be naive.

Carl Cameron is a hero and Godfull™. He was secretly dispatched by Fox's "Halls of Justice" as an American Culture Warrior. They have sent him into the underworld of the "MSM", or Main Stream Media - the demonic cesspool of an inferno and playground for the liberal America-haters - where he monitors their anti-American actions. In order to avoid detection, he poses as a "journalist", one of the terms used to describe the footsoldiers of the Left-Wing horde.

Intel WorkEdit

His secret agent name is "Softball", but Carl Cameron is probably best well known for his creative method of relaying important intelligence gathered about the enemy back to America-lovers. His contact and liaison is none another than George W. Bush himself!

His novel communication method includes a complex combination of visual and word codes that only the Greatest President Who Has Ever Lived could understand. Ingeniously, the contacts are made out in the open, the last place anyone would expect anything so crafty to go down. These contacts are guised as either an interview or press conference.

The Tools of His Trade:

  • The Wink - the visual clue of Mr. Cameron given to the President right before he proceeds with a question. The meaning or meaning(s) of the wink are a matter of national security.
  • Imbedded words - additionally, words are placed within a question that through some complex algorithm can be uncoded to find out the important piece of information. For example:

From a pre-election press conference in 2004.


Bush: "OK, next question, right here, Carl, go for it."



Cameron: "Thank you, Mr. President, do you think that the silly Democrats will ever appreciate your magnifigance? Or would you say that the brightness of the Glory that God has bestowed on you is so strong that it would melt the eyes right out of their demon skulls? And if I can follow up with a yes or no question: Yes or No, does Kerry's mom know he's gay?"



Bush: "Well, Carl, the way I see it..."




Taken into account the algorithm, the bold words can be reconstructed to form the following phrase:

"Mr. President, say No, Yes, No"


Carl Cameron Fun FactsEdit

See AlsoEdit

I am Carl Cameron and my lawyer swears I'm not a
GOPwhore

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