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Canadian Parliament
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.

Canada's Parliament almost makes a quorum

The Canadian Parliament was conceived by the Fathers of Confederation in your mom's house, the year of Canada's birth was 9 months after said date. The Parliament is composed of three arms, the Senate, where Senators come to play hockey, the House of Commons, comprised of commoners communicating commonly in either official common language in order to form a common set of laws that applies to all commoners not commonly elected to the House of Commons, and lastly the Head of State, the Master of holy and evil, who is represented by the Governer General. The Governer General is not elected, but appointed by whomever is high chief of the totem pole in the House of Commons, the Prime Minister.

The Year of Living Dangerously: Canada Ratifies Charter of Rights and Freedoms in 1982 Edit

Perhaps the crowning achievement from the hell spawn that is the Parliamentary process was the ratification of The Charter of Rights and Freedoms, hereafter referred to as the CRF, which came into force on April 17th, 1982. The successful ratification of the CRF belies numerous obstacles, some almost so insurmountable that they threatened the possibility of the CRF ever coming into existence.

One such disagreement whose seeming weight almost crushed the CRF drafting process was known as the Trudeau-Peart affair. The origin of the problem though superficially simple, outlines the fargmented collection of provinces, territories, and watery masses that Canada effectively is. The jist of the Trudeau-Peart affair stems from the fact that Pierre-Elliot Trudeau, Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal Party, hereafter referred to as PET, wanted to include within the CRF the stipulation that all drum kits sold within Canada must mandatorily contain 7-pieces of drum kit, with a snare, cymbal, and bass drum as fundamental elements that must necessarily be included within said kit. PET, being an astute RUSH fan, took inspiration from Neil Peart, drummer for said Power Rock Trio, whose drum kit menagerie bordered on the enormous at times and sometimes even swelled to almost gigantic proportions.

The 7-piece kit stipulation set off a barrage of queries, questions, chortles, and even subdued ridicule. The first host of problems stemmed from where exactly should the 7-piece kit stipulation be recognized within the bosom of the CRF. Is a 7-piece kit a 'Fundamental Right'? Is the need to lay down some 'Closer to the Heart'-esque rhythms a 'Legal Right'? Or is it merely a refined expression of an 'Equality Right', with the philosophical idea that we are all equal only once the necessity of the 7-piece drum kit is recognized.

Some critics were less than enthused about issues that pertained to the location of the recognition of 7-piece drum kits within the CRF, but rather, they questioned the scope of the Trudeau-Peart rider. Some members of the opposition, some suspect they were closet Ringo Starr fans, descried the scope of a 7-piece drum kit, suggesting that the intricate rhythm and time keeping necessary for drumming can be done with a more stripped down 3-piece. In fact, it was members of the Parti Quebecois, a party based on the principle that it wants to annex Canada, was almost ruthless in the definition of the 7-piece drum kit as necessary. They argued that most Quebecers can make do with a 5-piece kit, and that a 7-piece drum kit symbolized the unchecked excess of the English language encroaching upon French Culture within Quebec, threatening its very vitality and survival.

With much discussion, fierce debate, and philibustering by many a member of the House of Commons, the Prime Minister gave into to the Parti Quebecois and scaled back the mandatory drum kit size from 7 to 5 pieces. Once this obstacle was surmounted, the CRF sailed smoothly towards receiving ratification and Royal Assent. From 1982 onwards, all Canadians have the right to think freely, the right to peaceful assembly, the right of freedom of association, and the right to buy a drum kit that contains atleast 5 pieces.

How to Make the Canadian Parliament ListenEdit

Canada's Phone Number:

1-800-O-CANADA (1-800-622-6232)

Call them and pull the following prank call: YOU: Your cat is on my fence. CANADA: I don't have a cat. YOU: Well, I don't have a fence.

Then hang up. Let's get the entire nation prank calling Canada until it gets a cat!

See AlsoEdit

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