Call-in-Gay Day
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Call-in-Gay Day to the authorities.
Call-in-Gay Day
is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!

Call-in-Gay Day (imaginary holiday)

  1. the homosexual equivalent to Hanukkah; a day to be excused from work and whine about if it isn't nationally recognized

Call-in-Gay Day at The ReportEdit

One one fine day a couple of Stephen Colbert's interns called in to tell him something that turned out to be a nail in the gay marriage coffin, rendering the cause impotent and proving that it has no following.

Gay Intern Number 1Edit

The first had the following to say:

I am severely, viciously gay. Maybe even VIOLENTLY gay.
By the way,
I won't be into work today.
But hey,
be that as it may,
I still expect my pay.

Colbert had the following to say:

No problem. You have two choices.

  1. ) get your ass to work now
  2. ) Have your resignation on my desk tomorrow morning.

"After all," Colbert pointed out, "it would like me going out and protesting Obama winning the election."

Gay Intern Number 2Edit

The second one tried to reason with Colbert:

"Hey, I'm calling in today."


"I'm gay."

"Ok. That's not my problem. You're on the schedule for a reason."

"well, the point is for you to realize how much I, as a homosexual, am relied upon."

"If you weren't gay, you'd probably still have this job. If homosexuals were nonexistent, then someone else would have taken your place. And if you don't come to work, same thing. You're expendable either way. Last time: come to work, or find a new job."

When asked about it by reporters Colbert said, "Today the gay community tried once again to equate their goal with civil rights, this time with Latin Immigrants using the same tactics and slogans to do so. I thought gays were creative? Can't they come up with their own agenda?"

The following day is now known as un-employed gay day and the following seven days as homeless homo week.

See AlsoEdit

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