Calgary Flames
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
Stastny Yan
Calgary Flames
is Hockey-related
making it un-American

The Calgary Flames are an NHL hockey team based in the Republic of Alberta, which masquerades as a Canadian province. their home city is Calgary, possibly the gayest city in North America, founded when the cast of the Rocky Horror Picture Show were forced to forge a new life for themselves after their bus broke down in the middle of the godless Canadian tundra.

The Flames are just one of two NHL teams which hail from the godless communist Republic of Alberta, the other team being those godless killing machines, the Edmonton Oilers. the NHL, now owned by Americans, sought to curb the power of the canadian hockey markets by contracting the two Alberta teams into one and renaming them the Alberta Oilin Flamers. this did not sit well with Wayne Gretzky and marked the beginning of the Alberta Civil War, another of the prophetic signs of the onset of The Great Bear Uprising of 2012.

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