A Caesarean Section (commonly known as a C-Section; Sometimes dubbed a McCainian Section) is a type of child birth invented by Doctors at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. It was invented in 5000 B.C. and was first performed that year for the birth of John McCain. It is a painless type of child birth where the baby does not come out of the vagina. It is the preferred birthing method of celebrities. It is also performed if the baby is in some way at risk of a liberal attack or if the baby's life is in danger.
Steps of a C-SectionEdit
1.) Shoot the mother's abdominal up with an anaesthetic that is similar to novacaine. It numbs her abdominal area so she does not feel any pain when the doctor cuts her abdominal open to get the Baby out.
2.) Cutting open the abdominal with either a knife (metal or Plastic), chainsaw or a blade
3.) Removing the baby and placentia
4.) Sewing Up the cut
Recovering From a C-SectionEdit
2. After 15 hours start walking around the Hospital.
3.) After three days you will be discharged from the Hospital to go home with your baby or babies
When You Get HomeEdit
Make sure you have some help around the house. A C-Section requires that the mother gets enough rest and to make sure she stands up every once and a while. Listen to your own body which is in many cases listening to what your gut says.
Celebrities who have had C-SectionsEdit
People who have been born via C-SectionEdit
- John McCain
- Julius Caesar
- Chuck Norris
- Jesus Christ
- John the Baptist
- Stephen Colbert
- Sir Richard Branson
- Client #9