CNN/Promo Narrator


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<Up-beat tantalizing voice>

Coming up next, Anna Nicole Smith has been buried! We've got the pictures and details at the top of the hour!

Then - in something that can only be described as a modern day miracle, a 98 yr old man survives 3 months of intense pain and agony and then finally sent home....only to died shortly after. We've got the family's chilling interview.

Then finally, the world is running out of MASS! We’ve got pictures, your thoughts and more…

</Up-beat tantalizing voice>

Who is it? Edit

it is a evil man, a man on a mission to destroy America. born on January 6, 1966 with large horns and bad breath the doctors described him as a "spawn of Satan" and promptly threw him out the hospital window 10 stories above ground level. being filled with hate and with baby Satan's blessing, his large horns impaled a near by god fearing republican. giggling with glee the spawn crawled away and eventually was adopted by Stalin.(or the ghost of Stalin, no one truly knows) there he embraced atheism and hippie ideals. CNN seeing this as a ideal propaganda spewing America hating person enlisted them in their column of anti-Americans.

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