Buffalo, New York

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Buffalo, New York
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

Buffalo, New York
Mayor: some guy
City Motto: at least we're not Canadian
Nickname: city of good neighbors
Theme Song: anything played on 1077thelake
Population: a shit ton
Standard MPH: 20 over
Principal industries: chicken wings
Fun Fact # 1: its fucking cold
Fun Fact # 2: chicken wings

Buffalo, New York is the largest city in the metro Buffalo area. Rick James used to live there. Thankfully, the buffalo, an early form of grizzly bear, is not native to the city. Buffalo is America's first line of defense against a Canadian invasion.

Much like the Saginaw Spirit, the official hockey team of both Stephen Colbert and Jesus Christ, the Buffalo Sabres consistently defeat godless liberal Canadian hockey clubs like the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Buffalo, New York HistoryEdit

Buffalo became a city in the 1800s. In the war of 1812, it was burned by godless Canadians from Toronto. This is just the first example of Buffalo having to put up with crap from our so called "friendly" neighbor to the north. Buffalo is regularly forgotten and not often visited because the weather fucking sucks. Pants and sweaters are recomended even in summer. Despite the crappy weather the people are friendly and outstandingly liberal. Buffalo is the main part of Erie County the most consistantly liberal county in New York going blue in every election since 1976.

Buffalo, New York TodayEdit

Buffalo, New York seriously wants to be featured on the Colbert Report and to do so will gladly bribe Stephen Colbert with the following:

  1. A bucket of wings
  2. A bucket of hot wings
  3. A bucket of suicide wings
  4. Celery

Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods In Buffalo, New YorkEdit

There is a distinct difference in the population of the city and the surrounding suburbs. Namely all the Whites Asians and Indians live in the suburbs, while the rest live in the city.

Buffalo, New York LandmarksEdit

Famous People From Buffalo, New YorkEdit


Allegedly, Rick James was a black man. Or maybe he was white. Stephen Colbert cannot see color.

On October 13, 2006, an especially freaky storm (or, as Rick James would say, a "super freak" storm) hit Buffalo, resulting in several feet of snow as well as countless destroyed trees and power lines. This was God's way of temporarily eliminating wasteful government spending on programs such as garbage pickup and public schools.

A Typical Day In Buffalo, New YorkEdit

Chances are you are going to need a sweater at some point in the day. From October until the end of April you will be dealing with frequent snow. You will also have to deal with countless Canadians cutting you off on the highway.

In fact, the Godless Canadians have been trying to take over Buffalo for quite sometime now. As part of their evil strategy, they have worked hard to make everyone in the USA believe that it snows all year round in Buffalo. This is to hide the fact that the summers are usually very sunny and pleasant. Because most of their country IS cold and covered in snow and ice all year round, they are slowly trying to move the border of Canada southward and taking over Buffalo is the first part of this nefarious plan. They believe that no one will miss Buffalo, NY, USA if they think it is always covered in snow and ice.

Strange Laws in Buffalo, New YorkEdit

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