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Bruce Lee

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"EL CAPITANO SHALL HAVE THE PNEUMATIC VENGEANCE!"
I kill what I fear and I fear what I don't understand, and I don't understand this.
Be less random and don't make stuff up, use your gut.


Bruce Lee is one of only two men that can defeat Chuck Norris in hand-to-hand combat. The only other man who can defeat Chuck is, of course, Stephen Colbert. Bruce put to shame the abnormally hairy Chuck in "Return of the Dragon" with his god-like martial arts skills. Bruce Lee is also the founder of the world's most amazing martial arts system, Jeet Kune Do. Also, in 1997 he founded Christianity. Which is amazing since he died in 1973. But after meeting Jesus and amazed by his mad-skills, Jesus put Bruce to work. And by work, I mean fighting Satan in a Gladitorial type setting. After a 34 year bout with the father of liberals he was rewarded with spreading the message of Christ on Earth. However, the vengeful Lucifer was not to take this rolling over, and had his revenge in 2006 by rigging the mid-term elections so that the Democrats took control of congress. Bruce reissued a fight to be held on the set of The Colbert Report. The Devil is yet to accept.


Bruce Lee's philosophy Edit

"Ching chang ching ching chong"-Bruce Lee*

*as translated by Rosie O'Donnell

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